Friday, November 27, 2009

Till' You Drop

Have you ever wondered why they call Black Friday, Black Friday? I was wondering this very thing as I stood in line waiting for my turn at the checkout early this morning (before any sane human being would think of rolling out of bed). Clearly I do not place myself in the catagory of sane because I too was there. If you find yourself in this situation and you are lucky enough to a) secure parking location, b) find a cart and c) grab everything on your list before it has been hoarded by the mob (while not getting trampled), than you have to know that karma is automatically going to place you in the longest line possible or one where the person just in front of you has selected many items for which there is no price tag and delays ensue. In my case, the line was so long that it began on the other side of the enourmous store and was being maintained by a giant roll of "caution" tape. Caution is something all Black Friday goers seem to need a lesson in. For one thing, we are all up and driving around in the darkness before we've even gotten the turkey & wine out of our system...before we are even really awake. As if that is not scary enough, we pair this state of grogginess and poor judgement with a general irritation I like to call the "Holiday Ho-Hums" and my kid's call "The Bah-Hum-Bugs." Before the sun came up today, I witnessed many an' Ebaneezer Scrooges in my midst. It is so unfair that our children ask Santa for so many things that we cannot even pronounce and have never seen, nevermind pay for! They peacefully sleep in bed, dreaming up happy little elves peicing everything together in The North Pole's magical workshop. Meanwhile, mom is down at Target wrangling the competition to the ground over the last shelved treasure bearing the 50% off doorbuster tag. This is not a sport for the rational, or weak of heart - it is a fierce and brave sisterhood. Fare well my wild-eyed, crazy-haired, minivan-driving, profanity-screaming, sale-loving mamma's. I am headed home for a well deserved nap-er-roo!

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