Tuesday, October 6, 2009

So Many Questions

Nathan is still loosing weight and as soon as we have spoken to his therapist tonight, I will be calling his pediatrician about this current medication he is on. The past week or so, he has still not wanted to eat anything. Adding complication to the matter, these new pills do not seem to have any of their “intended” effects. Translation: Nate is struggling again and so are we.
For the longest time, all we could see were the attention issues he had and the resulting behaviors that can often be associated with ADD-type struggles. Until we met a point with the previous medication (and therapy) where some of those behaviors had been lessened or eliminated, the deeper layer of Nate’s complexities, were obscured from our primary view. So clearly now, I see it…There is something more.

Everyone has one of those family members that you love just the same but maybe just seems odd, awkward, eccentric, peculiar, different …For most people that meet him, Nathan would never appear to be anything but completely “normal.” Whatever we have done or continue to do – it has been tremendously successful. Nate is a beautiful, kind-hearted, loving boy who is self-confident, social and out-going. He participates in many after-school activities and has many long-term friendships. We know though, there is something else…the “stuff” we hide so well but that is getting increasingly difficult to mask.

We have another function ahead and I am so nervous. Beyond ADD, I have no answers to explain why we feel like we have to be with him at all time, why we do not trust his interactions and behaviors to be appropriate and why he could construe a simple social interaction to be scary, hurtful, threatening and possibly take physical action. We cannot explain why he is so unnerved by the tiniest things or why everything must take a 500 page essay to explain and pick apart. It is exhausting, but for whatever reason...it is our “normal” right now.

Meanwhile…let us not forget the other complicated little people sketching out their own little ideas and personalities on the same “pad” …I suppose that if life is art and art is expression, we are always in a state of expressing our colorful bond with one another in unique and different ways ...but always with love and respect.
There is definitely something more going on with Nathan, but we need more answers to some initial questions before we can ask certain ‘other questions.’

If there is “something more,” how does it (hypothetically) affect his daily life and is there anything we can do to alleviate the symptoms or eliminate the issue? What does a label do for him? How can a label hurt him? We continue our quest for answers in tonight’s session.

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