The Fague

Waking up this morning was like coming out of a fugue and realizing you had been unconscious during the event of something important, significant, body-altering. I was groggy and my body felt more tired than usual...just would not get up. Was I hit by a truck while sleeping in my bed? As I slowly proceeded to sit up, I experienced a deja vu of the night before, of being cozily tucked into the recesses of the couch while watching a recorded episode of the CBS program Crime Scene Investigation. Glancing downward, It was clear that I had missed something very important, something I always mark on the calendar to let me know how to “plan.” In the kitchen later, I was still rubbing my eyes as I searched all those crucial little squares that hold the details of our lives together. How could I have been so out of touch with myself this month? As a woman, some intuitions are so strong within us, I am irritated by my carelessness and the inconvenience. I am cramping and hunched over feeling like I should go back to bed. I pause for a moment and promise myself to take better care of me today. But first, I must cycle two loads of laundry, shower, dress, feed and clean up for three kids and get them onto a bus.